21. April 2026

You’re Not ‘Just a Mum’ — It’s Time We Stop Believing That Lie.

“So what do you do for fun?”

This simple question threw me for a loop. 

I paused, frozen like a deer caught in headlights, as my mind went blank and I asked myself wait, what do I do for fun?

Why was this so hard for me to answer? And why did I feel so lost at such a simple question?

Because the answer was…nothing. 

I had stopped being intentional about having fun. 

Of course, I would think about fun things to do for my twins and yes I would have fun with them but things JUST for me? 

Nothing.

And in that moment, with that innocent question, it hit me how much I had stuffed myself (unintentionally) into this box called motherhood.

The reality was I had blinkers on. I was in tunnel vision mode. Only focused on providing for me and my twins and making sure they were good. Mahana wasn’t even part of the equation.

I sat with that question for a while, because it triggered grief.  

And that grief felt uncomfortable. 

There was a lot of shame, guilt and sadness from programming around feeling ‘ungrateful’ for my twins - especially after all we had been through. 

But that wasn’t true. 

The truth was, I was grateful AND I was sad. Two truths can coexist at the same time. 

Grieving the woman I was prior to motherhood didn’t cancel out the love and gratitude that I have for my children.

So I reflected on the kind of fun I enjoyed prior to motherhood and wondered if it still fit who I’d become.  

Because the reality was, I am no longer the woman I was before becoming a mother. 

And whilst I had grieved parts of her the year or so prior, those parts felt easier because it was conscious decisions I’d made. Those parts simply didn’t align with the woman I was choosing to be going forward and the mother that I wanted to be for my twins. 

So for a while I pondered the following: 

What fun could I have in my life at this stage of motherhood? 

How could I prioritise myself whilst also showing up for my twins? 

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks: I still loved the things I used to do for fun. 

I just hadn’t been doing them. 

The irony was before the question was asked, I had been feeling that something was missing, but hadn’t been able to put a finger on what. 

Having fun just for me, was a HUGE component that was missing from my life as, Mahana, the woman.

This wasn’t a loss, it was an initiation. An identity shift. I truly believe that motherhood is an initiation and a spiritual awakening.

And as the days went on I was deciding what this would mean for me going forward. One thing I knew for sure was I didn’t want to abandon Mahana anymore. 

As you can see, I had many realisations. Another was that I’d been buying into the BS lie of “I’m just a mum” and I decided I was done choosing to believe that. 

And I encourage you to do the same. Whatever BS lie(s) you uncover about motherhood that you’re done with, consciously choose to let go of them.

You’re not “jUsT a mum”.

And I really hate that line. Not only is it a lie but it also diminishes the power that a mother has. Mothers are EVERYTHING. 

We bring life into this world. 

Everyone, literally everyone, who enters this world has reached here through a woman. 

Mothers hold the most influence over a child’s life (science has now proven this) and so having fun is essential for showing our children who we are and what’s possible.

It’s time we reclaim—our God-given power— back into our own hands.

My own experience, as well as observing and working with other mothers, makes me passionate about the work I do. There’s this fire that I feel when it comes to supporting and empowering women to be who they are as a woman AND as a mother. 

It’s an honour to guide women like you during this massive shift because it’s huge and with education, preparation and guidance, you can thrive and sustain it.

When do you enjoy doing for fun? Let me know in the comments.